16 Non-sexual Touches To Feel Connected and Loved

Non sexual touches in love are a sign of trust. They reduce anxiety, and they bring two lovers closer and helps them bond better. It even helps you stay healthier and feel happier in your everyday lives. And when you touch your lover, you’re creating a connection that makes them feel better and more loved, and in return, you’d feel better about yourself too!

Here are 16 non-sexual touches that you can indulge in with your own lover. Try any of these touches and both of you will feel closer, bond better and feel more connected in no time!

#1 Playful wrestling. Do you ever fight each other in jest with pillows or with your hands while playing on the bed? This may seem immature, but it’s a great way to feel closer and relieve stress at the same time.

#2 Kiss on the forehead. A kiss on the forehead is a perfect way to show your affection. Lean in and kiss your lover on their forehead when you’re sitting with them. Chances are, your partner will close their eyes and smile because they can’t help but feel good about what you just did!

#3 Tickles. A tickle can be annoying at times, but it’s still a lot of fun. It’s a great excuse to touch each other non-sexually, and make each other laugh and feel good at the same time.

#4 Stroke their hair. Run your hands through your partner’s hair while cuddling up. You’ll feel great and your partner will feel a lot more loved.

#5 While walking past them. Give your lover a naughty pat on the butt while walking past them, or interlace your fingers with theirs for a second as you walk past each other.

#6 Wandering hands. Let your hands wander over your lover’s body when both of you are watching the telly. Run your hands against their palms or over their arms, or just about anywhere else. It doesn’t have to be sexual at all, and it’ll still make both of you feel more connected.

#7 Dance together. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know how to dance. When your favorite tune’s playing in the background, hold each other’s hands and dance along. Your boyfriend or girlfriend may laugh about it, but they’ll feel good about it too!

#8 Hold hands. Hold your lover’s hands now and then when you’re with them. It doesn’t matter if you’re at a restaurant, in public or lazing a home.

#9 Sit on their lap. Sitting on a lover’s lap or resting your head on their lap will make your partner want to cuddle you back instantly.

#10 A hug. A simple hug could seem meaningless, but it’s something that’ll make both of you feel really good. Just hugging each other for about half a minute releases feel-good chemicals in your body that’ll make both of you feel loved and connected, and it’ll have an uplifting effect on your mood too.

#11 Driving. Place your hand on your lover’s thigh when they’re driving the car. If you don’t want to make your gesture obvious and feel awkward about it, place your hand on your partner’s thigh while saying something to them or while emphasizing about something. It’ll feel natural, and yet, it’ll make your partner feel good about being in love with you.

#12 The stroll. Do both of you hold hands while strolling down a park or while walking down a flea market? Place your arm around your girlfriend, or wrap your arms around your guy while talking a leisurely walk together.

#13 The hand on cheek. Hold your lover’s face with your two hands, or place your palm on their cheek while saying something. It’s an endearing gesture that’ll always make your partner feel good.

#14 Massage and rubs. A massage always feels good. Give your partner a shoulder or back rub at the end of the day now and then, when you feel like it. They’ll feel relaxed and grateful at the same time.

#15 Playing with the feet. If you’re lazing on the couch with your partner, place their feet on your lap and run your fingers around their toes. You could tickle it or massage it, and it’ll still feel just as playful and good.

#16 The kiss. Just how often do you kiss your lover? Has the kiss just turned into a move you do during foreplay? A kiss is a powerful connection. Kiss your lover often, even if it’s just a casual peck on the lips. As long as you feel like kissing your partner often, your relationship will grow stronger, and both of you will feel more loved too.

Remember, non-sexual touches are just as important as sexual touches in a relationship. Indulge in them often, and both of you will feel more loved, connected and happier every single day!

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Why Did He Say All Those Nice Things to Me and Then…

Develop an Attitude of Positive Neutrality

What the heck is positive neutrality? This is a protective dating strategy I developed for myself while looking for love and today share with clients. The basic idea is that you take a “wait and see” position on any man you date. Instead of getting your hopes up, practicing Positive Neutrality prevents you from getting prematurely attached to a guy before he has proven himself as “The One” for you.

 

How Positive Neutrality Works

When you catch yourself thinking too much about a guy or falling for him fast, say to yourself, “He’s nice, but we’ll see.” Yes, your date might look promising and you want to be positive. But you also need to stay relatively neutral and objective to avoid getting emotionally attached before you know his intentions or if you are a good match. This really works!

 

Dating Advice that Helps You Stay Objective

Here are a few other options to help you be smart about falling too quickly for a man:

• Remember talk is cheap and words don’t necessarily have true meaning behind them
• Pay attention to his actions, not his words, to better understand his intentions
• Date more than one man at a time before you become exclusive to avoid putting all your eggs in one man’s basket so to speak.

 

Try “Who Is Next?”Thinking

My last suggestion for getting over a man who says nice things and disappears is to ask yourself, “Who is next?” That single question can help you face the future with optimism. There are loads of single men out there and many are quality guys who want a relationship. You just have to meet enough men to find the right one for you. So, the next time a guy disappears on you, don’t despair. Face the future knowing that you are one man closer to the love you want and deserve.

Give Yourself THIS for the Holidays (It’s Beautiful and Free)

You’re deep in the perfect storm of Merry Mania, and everybody expects you to look fabulous, fizz with energy and laughter, and enjoy perfect inner and outer harmony for at least another week.

Shopping insanity, horrible traffic, worse food choices, crazy people (including relatives), ridiculous expectations…
It’s enough to make you take your stack of romance novels and a bag of powdered donuts and hide in the nearest storm cellar until it’s all over, including the clean-up. (Especially the clean-up.)
But what if there was a way to build yourself an inner storm cellar (complete with a lush, peaceful inner garden) that not only made you able to withstand the sheer insanity of the holidays, but also helped you feel calmer, happier, and more in control of your life than ever before?
What if it even caused you to be a quietly flowing river of serenity that others could feel and take comfort in, too? Now THAT would be a gift.
And the best part is that you don’t have to wait for someone else to give you this gift, and it won’t show up on next month’s bank statement, either. It’s right here and waiting for you to accept it…

Ready?

Take three deep breaths. Inhale peace, and exhale tension. Open your heart to receiving love. (The universe has been waiting joyfully for you to open this gift!)

Now. Slowly let yourself take in the calming, centering mantras below…

1. The universe is working on my behalf, pouring a never-ending stream of beauty and peace into me. I don’t need to create, manipulate, or hoard the world’s refreshment. It pools within me, nourishes and grows what is good within me, and flows gently out to replenish others.

2. I don’t need to figure out or understand what everyone else is thinking and feeling. Peace comes when I release my desire to control everything outside of me.

3. The biggest battles I face are all internal. They have nothing to do with the people or events around me. And I am strong enough to meet those challenges, and gently, patiently loosen the knots and tangles within. I am entirely in charge of myself.

4. No fear or worry is bigger or more powerful than I am. I choose to act out of love, rather than let the fears and mistakes of my past drive me. My heart smiles.

5. I don’t have to be perfect. My life is messy. My life is beautiful.

Stay strong and steady, friend. You deserve all the love the world has to give you.

Are You Stuck In the Waiting Game?

It’s like waiting at the bus stop, tapping your foot, glancing annoyingly at first then anxiously after awhile at your watch.

We’ve read the timetable and according to the program our man…err… I mean bus should be here to take us on a fabulous journey that we’ve planned for in our head, life and schedule!
I’m sure we’ve all had moments when we feel like we’ve missed the “man bus” and are just sitting there hoping and waiting for it to turn up sooner rather than later, it can be a little disheartening and we can even start to feel like our entire future happiness depends on him arriving.
So what do we do whilst playing the waiting game?

 

Well here’s 3 Quick Points to get you on the right track :

Get Busy

Since when should life be done waiting on the side lines until your hero charges in?! Get up and start refocusing on what YOU want and start creating the future that you desire. Start new goals and finish old ones, take up a hobby or set yourself a new challenge to accomplish. Yes you have a desire to share your life with someone and in no way does that make you needy but you can’t let life just pass you by waiting for that dream to be for filled.
Waiting for a man to complete your happiness or existence is like eating a Big Mac and expecting it to make you skinner; it’s an unrealistic expectation that only ends in disappointment (dammit!) Get excited about your life so much so that when your man waltzes into it you have to check your diary to see if you have time for him in between Pilaties, coffee with the girls, dancing, writing a book and curing cancer!

 

Get Proactive and Practical

Alas whilst we may be able to have our groceries delivered to our front door it doesn’t work the same for husbands (hmm I have been meaning to look into mail order grooms!) So it makes sense to start creating your own opportunities to meet someone.
Thanks to technology trying to find a date has never been more convenient, so if you aren’t a social butterfly or time poor then why not try online dating or dating apps? They aren’t as scary as they seem and once you weed through the masses you’ll find there are some great perspectives just waiting to meet you.
If online isn’t your game then get back to basics, ask your friends if they know of someone, join a local community group or a gym,  maybe even try speed dating…whatever takes your fancy just don’t sit there on your couch twiddling your thumbs expecting him to knock on the door with flowers in tow.

 

Get Realistic

You aren’t going to die alone with 72 cats and eaten by Alsatians …so relax and stop labelling yourself and your future just because you are in this season of singleness. It’s time to start changing your words and mindset to one that’s positive and affirming of your dreams.
It doesn’t mean you have to start burning your bra and chanting in front of your mirror or walking on hot coals, but it does help to start taking control of your emotions, mindset and words. The thing is there is a time for everything and meeting someone, falling in love and then getting married is a progression that will just happen naturally with the right person without you trying to force it.
So walk away from the bus stop and continue doing what you do best , I guarantee once you start focusing on what makes you happy and whole, you won’t be getting on any bus, you’ll be getting picked up in a Ferrari (figuratively speaking of course)! =)

Does Good Chemistry Mean He’s Your Soul Mate?

Perhaps nothing derails women from deliberately attracting her soul mate more than “chemistry.”

I’ve had discussions and debates about this topic with girl friends, I get asked about it frequently, and my clients often bring it up during sessions.  Personally, when I was younger I learned the hard way that going by chemistry alone can get one invested completely in the wrong person – fast.
So how can you know if someone is the right person if you don’t have chemistry right away? 
And how can you know if someone is the right person if you DO have a lot of chemistry right away?
This may not seem like the most enticing idea but it worked for me and other couples I know – it’s best to hold off on getting too physical with someone until you know him better and he’s allowed his true colors to show.

This has nothing to do with what old world religions might call sin, personal ethics, or certainly not any “rules”; it has everything to do with you being able to see a person for who he really is (and for him to see who you really are) and not for the chemical bond being intimate will create prematurely.
Worried that taking your time will turn off a potential keeper?  Here’s the deal:

Your soul mate will wait as long as you want and will want to get to know you better first, too.
A player will be out the door – good riddance, buh-bye!
You will be able to keep your head about you and totally be yourself.  Ever notice how you change around a guy you’re crushing on once you’ve had intimacy?
There are no rules as to how long you should wait only that it’s in alignment with you and allows you to get to know each other.  So what is right for you and your desires for a soul mate partnership?
It’s helpful to go into dating with basic clarity and a plan.  Here are a few questions to help you get started:

What do YOU need to have in place before you get physical with someone?  What do you need to know about him and what do you want to have discussed before then?  Is it important for you to know that you’re a committed couple beforehand or not?  What “bases” (to use middle school terminology here) are you okay with him going past before you’re in a relationship?  And absolutely what do YOU need in place before you go all the way?

Though it doesn’t have to be written in stone but I find that setting the intention and having clarity around this is an extremely powerful statement to the Universe, and everyone else, that you are serious about attracting your soul mate and that you are worthy of attracting a partner that loves, cherishes, & respects you (and your boundaries) completely.

A soul mate relationship has a solid foundation and connection in the spirit, the mind, and the heart before it’s in the body.  And when you DO get physical, the attraction and chemistry you create with your soul partner continues to build and grow as your relationship does.

Make 2014 the Year He Falls Back in Love With YOU

You know how it is; we women can literally feel him turning away from us.

It’s a gradual thing…one moment you’re holding hands; the goodwill that flows back and forth astounds your heart. You are in love with him. He would do anything for you and you know it. You’re top of his list, and you feel very loved and very special. You glow.

And you love him. You want to give back to him and so over the years you’ve continued to put his needs first. What does this mean? Well, sure your work life and children are in the mix too, but you know him better than he does and pre-empt what he needs often before he does! It’s just the way you’re made and you know he appreciates it…
…Only somewhere along the way you’ve noticed that although you’re still committed to buying your mother-in-laws Christmas present (as if from him) and being thoughtful when it’s his birthday, he’s turned away from you and buried himself in work/a project/golf.
And when he returns? He’s distracted. You want his full attention – you want to grab his big bear of a face, take him by the shoulders and shake him and yell: “Wake up and look at me – I mean really look at me!” But it’s like he doesn’t see you anymore.

He get’s anxious when you cry. Sure, but apart from the big dramatic things, he’s pulled away from you, always got his nose into something else. And because he’s always got his nose into something else – TV – sport – everybody else, he misses stuff like all the time. Which is enough to piss any gal off after the zillionth time! So you find yourself being angry at him – not in a big way, but when he gets home tonight you’ll tell him what he missed and instead of him saying “I’m sorry;” he’s going to end up saying “here we go again, always criticizing me.” To no one in particular. As if he has an audience. Only it’s just you. Hurting.

You want to feel desired by him, that nothing is more important than your happiness like it used to be. You want to be his No.1 and you want to feel that glow in your face again because it’s going to infuse you with lightness and your whole day, your work, your success and everything else with happiness. You haven’t felt alive in such a long time. You’ve been just kind of sucked dry.
And that’s so NOT you! What would it do for you if you could turn this all around in 2014? And what would be the best part? Would you like to make 2014 the year he falls back into love with you? But how much more can you give?
Exactly.
STOP.

Stop giving to him. Stop trying to make everything all right for him. It turns him off. You as a woman are made to receive. (Woohoo!) And he knows it and will genuinely respond to it in you when you genuinely decide that receiving is important for you, everyday. But you have to drop your anger and focus on you.

Darling, you can do this! 2014 is your year! If you:

• Ask him for what you want today in a way that sounds pleasurable to you and him and make this your new daily habit.
• Focus on how you sound when you ask him. He is really sensitive to your tone. More than you will ever realise.
• Appreciate him for all the little things he does. He will want to do more for you no matter how much you doubt this.
• Put your fun above getting it all done all of the time.

2014 is your year for him to fall back in love with you.
And it begins when you decide to focus on your happiness.
Yes there is room for you to do that.
Watch his responses. With regular dedication on your part to your happiness, he will turn back towards you and give you his full attention. You are about to be desired like never before – OOO!

Are You Dating to Mate or Dating to Date?

Coaching women over 50 about dating, I’m often asked why dating has become so damn hard?

I believe it’s because dating has become an activity we endure versus one we enjoy.  We treat dating like we treat a job interview.  We exchange resumes.  We look the person up and down and in less than 10 minutes – the time it takes to drink a cup of coffee – we decide whether or not this person is our next spouse or committed partner.
What a pressure cooker this is…ultimately leaving us with the feeling there is no one out there to date.  Yet there are millions of men and women looking for partners daily, so what’s going on? Why can’t men and women find each other?

 

It’s simple. They are dating to mate versus dating to date.

I can’t begin to tell you the number of times I’ve heard, “I just know whether he’s the one within the first three minutes of meeting him.”  There is no way this is possible.  You may know whether you’re initially attracted to him but that’s it.  And by the way, for women, attraction can grow over time when you get to really know a man even when it’s initially not present on a first date.   Using this philosophy, you can end up missing a lot of good, quality men.
Dating can be a lot of fun if you can switch to the idea of Dating to Date. This means go on dates with the only objective being having fun getting to know a new and interesting man.  We did this as kids when we hung out with our potential mates.  We didn’t sit around thinking, “Is he the one?”  We just enjoyed each other’s company and let it flow into the relationships we created.

When you Date to Date, you may not end up with a mate but you could end up with male friends who offer you companionship when you want it.  And you may, over time, fall for a man who has become your friend because the foundation for any relationship is friendship.
It could end up being the best relationship and one you’d have missed by making that quick three minute decision on your first date.

The other reason dating can make you so miserable is because often you don’t give men a chance unless they meet your standards of perfection.  I’ve heard so many women describe their ideal man as one who is fit, one who eats a certain way, and one who has a particular job.  A fit man may look good but it doesn’t mean he’ll make a good mate for you.  The guy with the belly could stand to loose a couple of pounds, yet he might be the guy who could light up your life every day and make you very happy if you’d give him a chance.

Instead of just using physical characteristics as the sole basis for finding someone, think about how you want to feel around a man because ultimately you want to feel happy inside when you’re with the one you finally choose. And that has nothing to do with how he exercises or eats. It has to do with how he treats you.